


Sugar Rush and Secrets

by takeintoaccount



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-13 22:29:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2167572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takeintoaccount/pseuds/takeintoaccount
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Kevin's birthday and Arnold made the cake. Cue some pretty epic sugar rushes and a game of Truth or Dare.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sugar Rush and Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> Written (in 2012) for the prompt during a Tumblr fic challenge: “The Elders in Uganda’s Kampala district find out that one of them has a secret. When word gets out to all of them, they can’t help but react.”

“Tell the truth, Arnold!” Poptarts laughed. “How much sugar did you _really_ put that cake?”

“It wasn’t that much! I mean! The recipe only called for a cup and that didn’t seem like it would make it sweet enough so I, you know, improvised.” Cunningham was bouncing on the edge of the couch a gleeful look across his face. He looked proud of himself. He reached out and smacked Price on the shoulder. “And anyway, tell the truth, you liked it didn’t you buddy?”

Price squawked in an undignified manner and glared at Cunningham for a minute before grinning. “Yeah. Thanks, pal.”

There was a shout and a crash from the other side of the room and Price, Poptarts, and Cunningham all jumped, looking over. Elder Davis was scrambling along the floor, limbs everywhere, chasing after marbles as they spread in every direction, and Elder Michaels and Elder Schrader were collapsed against each other shaking with unsuppressed giggles. Elder Neeley had his arms raised in victory and was shouting, “I AM THE MASTER. DID YOU SEE THAT?!” 

“Not fair!” Davis was yelling back, his voice only slightly muffled from where he’d shoved his head under the couch beside Cunningham’s feet, looking for more runaway marbles.

“Oooh!” he suddenly shouted and yanked his head back out, banging it on the way. “Ouch. Did I just hear you say ‘tell the truth’ Arnold?” 

“Yes!” 

“TRUTH OR DARE!” Davis screamed, jumping up and throwing the marbles as if they were confetti, then cackling when one hit Price on the head as it dropped.

“What are you, twelve? And female?” Elder Schrader piped up.

“Guys can we please use our inside voices?” Elder McKinley said with a longsuffering sigh from the doorway into the kitchen area, his hands wet with dishwater where he’d been washing the cake pan. 

“McKinley!” Poptarts said with a clap and a grin. “Aren’t you and Church done yet? We’re going to play Truth or Dare!”

“We are?” Kevin said.

“Come on! It’s the perfect party game. And tonight is the perfect party night, birthday boy!” 

There was a cacophony of voices as the elders all came closer, climbing onto the couch and settling in on the floor. 

“Davis goes first since it was his idea,” Price said when the noise died down after a minute.

“Okay! Kevin, truth or dare.”

“Truth.”

“Was this or was this not the most awesome birthday ever?”

Kevin opened his mouth to answer on impulse, thinking of his ninth birthday and the family trip to Orlando, about to say no, when he thought a moment longer. His senses were singing with sugar rush from the ridiculously sweet birthday cake Arnold had made him, the tiny, run-down house smelled of rich chocolate and a spicy undertone of the Ugandan dish Nabulungi and the other villagers had brought over earlier. He thought of how happy he’d been recently, how well he and Arnold were getting along, and how close he and Connor were getting. He thought about the homemade streamers decorating the kitchen and the makeshift birthday hat he’d been made to wear for the entirety of dinner. He thought about how he could call these people his friends, knew he’d never be the same since this experience and closed his mouth again to reconsider his answer. “It was.”

“Hollaaa!” Davis yelled, high-fiving everyone within reach. “You can thank Arnold for the idea, really, but we all contributed. Well, he made the cake.”

“Obviously.”

“Your turn!” Arnold interrupted.

“Okay, um, Poptarts, truth or dare.”

“Dare.”

Kevin floundered for a moment, searching his head for something to say before blurting out, “Do a handstand!”

Everyone groaned. “Booyah!” shouted Poptarts shooing them apart so that he could climb over heads and shoulders to get to the middle of the room. He kicked up into a perfect handstand, loose t-shirt slipping up for a second, before coming back down and bowing with a flourish. 

“Perfect ten!” laughed Michaels, clapping. 

“I did five years of gymnastics,” said Poptarts, grinning. 

“Your turn, Poptarts!” said Church. 

“Okay....McKinley! Truth or dare?”

Connor blushed bright red. “Oh I’m not very good at this game, you guys...” he started to protest. 

“Just pick one, c’mon, I’ll be nice,” Poptarts said with an innocent smile.

“Um...dare?” McKinley said tentatively.

A chorus of “ooohs!” rang out, but Poptarts shushed them. “I dare you to say that thing that Gotswanna said to Kevin and Arnold that one time when they were trying to tell the villagers about the Book of Mormon.”

From the look on Connor’s face, he had an idea of what that was, but he shrugged and tried to sound nonchalant, saying, “What thing?”

“You know...”

Everyone was quiet all of the sudden, as if waiting with baited breath. 

Kevin cleared his throat, “The line about...down there...?”

“Oh!” Connor said, shifting awkwardly and biting his lip. “Um...Ihavemaggotsinmyscrotum,” he blurted out.

There was a gasp, then an explosion of giggles and scattered applause. “You should probably go see the doctor for that buddy,” joked Arnold, patting McKinley on the shoulder. “Your turn!”

“Um, Arnold? Truth or dare?”

“Dare. Definitely dare.” 

“I dare you to say that Star Wars sucks.” 

“WHAT?” 

“You picked dare. You have to do it. Unless you want to switch to truth.”

“Switch!”

“Okay fine then. As your truth, you have to tell us a secret about you or something you’ve done.”

Arnold was quiet, lightly blushing, fidgeting a little. Finally, he spoke up, “Nabulungi and I kissed the other day.”

“What?” the elders all piped up and let out teasing whoops.

“Was it good?” Neeley said with a waggle of his eyebrows, and Schrader rolled his eyes, shoving at him.

“Arnold’s breaking the rules!” Zelder said in a sing-song lilt.

“Yeah, yeah. Okay. My turn. Davis. Truth or dare?”

Davis considered it for a minute. “Truth.”

“Hmm. Okay. Well, you disappeared when we all went to the city earlier. Where did you go?”

Davis blushed deep red and started picking at an imaginary hole in his jeans. 

“Davis! You’ve got a secret!” Poptarts said with a gasp. “Look at your face, you’re beet red!”

“I hadn’t even noticed you were gone!” Zelder said which set off a slew of other comments. 

Price suddenly noticed, though, that McKinley was saying nothing. He, too, was looking everywhere but at the other elders, was also a little red. Glancing back at Davis, he was just in time to catch a worried glance between the two and started to do the math.

He hadn’t noticed Davis slipping away, but he had noticed Connor conspicuously absent at one point during the trip. He had thought it was odd, because he and Connor had been planning on going to the bazaar together to pick out presents for their siblings but then Connor just hadn’t been there. He’d come back later, looking a little guilty, but Kevin had just figured he felt bad for being late to meet up. But seeing the look on Davis’ face now...

“I know what he was doing!” Kevin suddenly blurted out.

Eight pairs of curious eyes landed on him along with two terrified pairs. He shrugged nonchalantly, trying to project every bit of reassurance he could at both Connor and Davis. 

“Yep, I definitely know what Davis was doing,” he dragged out his words dramatically and then lowered his voice. “I know what Davis doesn’t want you to know.”

“Elder Price maybe –” Davis started, looking a little frantic.

“He was buying the newest Britney Spears CD!” Price interrupted loudly and the other elders jumped back, stunned for half a second before all groaning and rolling their eyes, pounding Davis on the back or ruffling his hair. 

“Well, why didn’t you just say so Davis? We’ve all got our secrets. That one’s not so shameful!” Schrader laughed.

“I—I just didn’t want to say,” stuttered Davis, casting a brief look of gratitude and confusion at Price. 

While the others chatted amongst themselves, McKinley leaned forward and whispered softly against Price’s ear, “Thank you for not saying anything.” Price reached out and squeezed McKinley’s knee, giving him a small smile.

McKinley still looked a little worried. “I know what you think we were doing, but it wasn’t that.”

Price shrugged. “You’ll have to tell me someday then.”

McKinley nodded sincerely, “I will. You’ll see.”

Then game went on, dares getting more creative and truths a little more serious. Over an hour passed and the sun had fully set. It was pitch black outside, frogs croaking up a storm, and the dim light in the corner made everything seem closer and more intimate. The elders were slouching against each other and the furniture, still buzzing with happiness, but calmer now. 

“Guys I think maybe we should go to bed?” McKinley said during a brief lull while Schrader tried to think of a dare for Arnold. 

Kevin pouted. “After this one, okay? It’s my birthday!”

McKinley glanced nervously at the clock. It was already past curfew but he looked back at Price. 

“Okay okay quit looking at me like that. We’ll do this dare for Arnold then call it a night. Make it a good one, Schrader.”

Schrader’s eyes lit up. “I’ve got the perfect finale. Okay Arnold. You know that outhouse on the edge of the village?”

The elders all sat up straighter, looking between Arnold and Schrader rapt with attention. 

“Yeah,” Arnold said a little nervously.

The outhouse was famous even amongst the villagers. Most of the houses had their own outhouses, in varying degrees of quality. The one at the edge of the village was the worst and everyone avoided it unless it was a dire situation. None of the villagers even really remembered why it had been built, although it was near the little schoolhouse, so that was everyone’s best guess. The schoolhouse had gotten their own facilities years ago, though.

“I dare you...” Schrader lowered his voice dramatically. “To sit in there, with no flashlight, for five minutes.”

“Aaand winner for the best dare ever goes to Elder Schrader,” Zelder said, punching his gently on the shoulder. “Do you accept Arnold?”

Cunningham gulped then nodded. “I accept. Let’s do this.”

The elders talked amongst themselves as they gathered flashlights and tugged on shoes before tromping out of the house and down the road to the outhouse. It looked even scarier at night. The roof was sagging in at the back, and the door hung limply off the hinges. Schrader shined his flashlight into the outhouse to make sure it was empty. The dirt floor was sprouting with weeds and the walls were covered in cobwebs. Something seemed to skitter away from the light as Schrader shined it around the little space. 

“Ugh, did you see that?” asked Arnold, his voice slightly more high pitched that usual. “Was that a rat?” 

“If you back out now, you’re a chicken forever!” said Church, mock punching Arnold in the shoulder. 

“I’m not gonna back down!” said Arnold. 

“Well, get in there then,” said Davis.

“You can do it pal,” said Kevin. 

“Yeah, man up!” said Zelder. The phrase seemed to give Arnold a new burst of courage. 

“Man up, man up,” he muttered to himself, then he puffed out his chest. “Here we go!” he said, and he stepped into the outhouse. 

“Okay five minutes starting now,” said Schrader, pushing the door closed behind Arnold. “I’m setting a timer on my watch!” 

“Think he’ll make it?” Church whispered. 

“I don’t know...sometimes he can be pretty awesomely brave,” McKinley replied.

“I can hear you!” Arnold called from the inside.

“No you can’t we’re whispering!” Church yelled back.

Arnold giggled. “Yeah, okay. But at least you just proved that you were talking about me.”

“Oops,” McKinley said.

“One minute!” Schrader yelled, kicking at the outhouse wall. “Four to go!”

The smell seemed to grow stronger as they all stood there, whispering and giggling in the dark. It was really pretty awful, despite that fact that no one used it very often. Some of the villagers had tried planting some flowers nearby to help mask any unpleasant odors, but otherwise people mostly just avoided the little lean-to.

“How are you going in there, Cunningham?” called McKinley. 

“It’s not so bad once you get used to it! If fact, as a dare goes, this was pretty lame!” Arnold yelled back.

Price grinned and put a finger to his lips, catching the eyes of the others, then sneaking around to the back. He started scratching lightly at the boards, dragging his hand across the paneling. 

The other elders, grinning, followed suit. 

“Hey guys!” Arnold called, sounding much more nervous than he had a moment before. “Um, guys? I think I hear some bugs in here. But I can’t see anything.”

“Really?” Price responded innocently. “Be careful in there!”

“Two and half minutes! You’re halfway there, you can do it!” Schrader yelled. 

Davis snorted softly, then jogged away from the outhouse.

“Where are you going?” Church hissed.

“Shh! You’ll see!” he whisper-shouted back.

Standing far enough away to only just barely be seen in the moonlight, he threw his head back and let out an cry eerily similar to a hyena.

“Holy shit!” Price jumped. “Did you know he could do that?” 

“Shhh! Davis are you crazy! Stop it!”

Davis cackled with laughter as he jogged back to the group. 

“You’re going to get real hyenas to come which would be decidedly not good!” Michaels said, punching him on the arm, an alarmed look on his face. 

“Guys was that you?” Arnold shouted and the elders all heard him rustling around. “That sound, was that you? Cut it out!” And there was a thump against the wall as Arnold slapped his hand against it near where Price was standing.

There was a silent second before Arnold screamed.

Several of the elders let out startled shouts, jumping before racing around to the front door. “What? What is it?” they all yelled over each other.

The door burst open. “There must have been something on the wall!” Arnold yelled, waving his hand around frantically. He was starting to hyperventilate. “When I slammed my hand against the wall it stung me!”

“What was it? Let me see your hand!” Price grabbed at Cunningham’s hand, dodging a slap in the process. 

In the palm of Arnold’s hand was a thick, dark pointed thing, stuck about halfway in. “What is it?” the elders were saying, crowding in. 

“Oh my gosh, is it a scorpion’s stinger?” McKinley said, his voice raising an octave by the end. 

“It’s a scorpion!” Church shrieked and Arnold yanked his hand away and let out a distressed moan.

“What if it was a deadly one???” asked McKinley, panicking. 

“I’m going to die!” Arnold wailed.

“No you’re not! We’re going to get help!” Price cut in.

“Who’s going to help us? It’s so late!” McKinley cried, sounding anguished “Who’s awake right now? Oh God I knew we shouldn’t have stayed up! I should’ve insisted -”, he paced away, wringing his hands.

“Let’s just go see the doctor!” Zelder cut in. “We’re not far from his house. We’ll just knock on the door and have him help!”

“Let’s go!” said Price. “Someone help me with Arnold.”

Price and Davis grabbed Arnold and started to half drag, half push him along. Arnold was heaving, breathing heavily and muttering to himself. The other elders jogged a little to keep up alternating between freaking out and trying to calm Arnold.

The second they reached the doctor’s hut, they all laid upon the door, banging it nearly down in their effort to be heard. 

“What the fuck is it?” Gotswanna said as he yanked open the door. He was still dressed and a light was still on in the main room, so Price vaguely registered that they hadn’t actually woken him up.

“Elder Cunningham was stung by a deadly scorpion!” Elder Church declared. “Please, Gotswanna, you have to help!” 

“I’m too young to die!” moaned Arnold. “I’ll never get to see The Hobbit in 3D!”

“Shut the fuck up and tell me what’s going on,” said Gotswanna urgently. “Did you see the scorpion? What did it look like?” he stepped back and opened the door wider. He rolled his eyes when all ten boys pushed and shoved their way in and ran over to the table where the light was best.

“I don’t know but it must have been huge! And really dangerous!” Arnold managed to choke out between two frantic breaths. “If I die, tell- tell Nabulungi -”

“Cut it out, you’re not going to die!” said Gotswanna. He shooing the other elders away and took Arnold’s hand, peering at it closely. A second later he was laughing.

“What!” screeched Price. “What could possibly be funny about this situation? My friend is going to die and you’re just standing there laughing!” 

“I said he isn’t going to die!” Gotswanna said, still chuckling. “If he had been stung by a scorpion you boys wouldn’t have made it to the house. This is a splinter!”

The elders stood there, stunned, staring at the man before them as he wiped a tear from his cheek and started laughing yet again. “Just a big fucking splinter! You idiots, can’t tell a scorpion from a splinter…” he chuckled as he walked over to a desk, opened the top drawer and pulled out some tweezers.

With a single pluck, the splinter was gone and Gostwanna handed Arnold a cloth to wipe the blood from his hand. “Need a bandaid, Mormon boy?”

“No,” Arnold said, looking down and away.

“Alright. Off you boys go. It’s past your curfew anyway. Don’t worry, I won’t tell.” He chuckled.

The elders shuffled out of the room with embarrassed “thank you’s” and “good night’s”. In silence, they walked back down the familiar road to the mission house. 

It was Davis who broke first. He let out a snort of laughter as they were all taking off their shoes and putting away the flashlights. Neeley chuckled, and then Arnold giggled weakly, and before they knew it everyone was laughing like it was the funniest thing that had ever happened. Price’s sides were aching before it died down, and Arnold had tears streaming from under his glasses. 

“I can’t believe we freaked out like that,” Neeley said, shaking his head and grinning.

“We’re going to be the laughing stock of the village,” Schrader groaned, still slightly out of breath.

“Not like we weren’t already,” Church added.

“We’re just glad you’re okay, Arnold,” McKinley said with a big smile. He gave Arnold a hug and a pat on the back.

“Me too. And really, tonight was awesome. Happy birthday, Kevin,” Arnold said, walking over to Kevin and wrapping him up in a bear hug. 

A chorus of “Happy Birthdays” surrounded him and the rest of his friends all crowded in until Price was crushed in a mass of bodies and laughter. “Thanks guys. Thank you.” 

As he and Arnold crawled into their beds ten minutes later and flicked off the light, Kevin sighed and whispered, “I’m sorry about the scorpion scare.”

“Oh that’s okay. It was a fun night anyway. And beside, when I tell Naba tomorrow she’ll get a laugh out of it.”

Kevin snorted. “Yeah, she probably will. And hey, thanks for the cake.”

Kevin could practically hear Arnold grin. “Anyway. You’ll just have to make me one now.”

“I will.”

“Goodnight, best friend.”

“Goodnight.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Sugar Rush and Secrets](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5030197) by [akikotree](https://archiveofourown.org/users/akikotree/pseuds/akikotree), [takeintoaccount](https://archiveofourown.org/users/takeintoaccount/pseuds/takeintoaccount)




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